Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
I'm an EMT, not a miracle worker. No, I can't fix your sprained dick.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
Tomorrow's Mother's Day and the only thing I can afford is beer and the McDonalds dollar menu. Do you think a Budweiser and a Big Mac says thank you for me fucking up your life since 1990?
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
