Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
