I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
It's impossible to flirt with the bank tellers because they see how broke I am.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Randomize
