I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
gona look into getting a tetanus booster and carrying an adrenaline shot...its going off this weekend
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
