Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
All because of that GODDAMNED MIKE PENCE.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Randomize
