This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I was so high last night that i'm 89% sure my roommates set up an obstacle course for me and timed it. Not positive.. I think one of the challenges was pairing shoes
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
This is the high leading the old right now
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
