I wish you could see the look on my boss's face right now.
wtf?
Before you passed out in the middle of the NHL 10 party you had to prove that you were a better fighter than Patrick Kane. Your not. Thanks for the black eye dipshit.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
why is half of my head shaved?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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