I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
i totally just wrapped her wedding gift in tin foil. These are the skills 2 bachelor's degrees have given me.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
my last search of the night was "the physics of green eggs and ham" what the fuck
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
