Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
Randomize
