Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
There's a patch of dead grass from where you would notoriously throw up after every good night in July. This summer was great.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
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