Umm I'm too high to move.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
Randomize
