school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I just threw out a whole Christmas ham, 12 positive pregnancy tests, 3 empty vodka bottles and by ex boyfriends Latina porn collection in the same garbage bag. The homeless person who goes through the bins tonight knows I have nothing left to loose.
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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