It's hipsters with their motorcycle cop mustaches, moccasins, douchey irony, and department stores to supply their independent conformity
Something's gotta give!
Haha, just learned changing others iPhone passcodes is fun while drunk but not fun the next morning.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
