a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Just applied for assistance with paying my hospital bill from my alcohol poisoning at age 16 while still a little drunk from last night. What is my life.
Circle of life?
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
