Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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