No, you can still breathe under the balls.
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Every concussion has its silver lining
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
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