I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
