so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
You told me you were allowed to keep eating butter because it had just passed midnight and you were on the next day's daily fat servings
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
