It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
Randomize
