i don't plan on having that self control this summer
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
Life is so much better after having sex.
When were having sex he was mumbling some guys name. If he wasn't as hot as he is I'd be concerned.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Sitting in the car eating a bagel. Watching a guy do tai chi in the parking lot. My morning is fabulous
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize
