Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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