is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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