Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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