He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
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