Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
