I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Use "feeling words"
Yay
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
Randomize
