dude wtf did we explode in my microwave last night?
idk but i think it had a face
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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