Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
Since when do my one night stands start sending you friend requests?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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