You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
splinters make it hard to masturbate
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
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