dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
