sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Randomize
