i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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