Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
Randomize
