Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
He's attempting to seduce me with thanksgiving-themed sexual metaphors... It's working.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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