What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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