I want to make a zoo with you.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Randomize