I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
