Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
It was one of those "since we're naked anyway" type situations
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I'm wearing the monkey suit out tonight. I hope you're ok with it leaving the bedroom
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
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