i think i have herpe
just one?
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
She's grinding on a deaf black man and I'm the interpreter.
shes the kind of girl that would cock block endangered pandas
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
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