and then I told her I was too drunk. She started to cry, and told me this always happens to her and that she thinks shes ugly. I pretended I was asleep and then she farted.
How does, "Im sorry I was such an intoxicated bitch, I didn't mean anything I said" sound as an apology.
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
Apparently you get kicked out of gay bars if they catch you putting the entire free condom bowl in your purse.
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
