I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
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