batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Are you being sarcastic? I can't tell this time because you're in the hospital.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
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