Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
drugs are my only escape from this reality. good thing I got it at a discount price last night
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I'm sexting at the thanksgiving dinner table...this is a new holiday tradition.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
I'm seeing how far I can grow my leg hair out before Jason will say anything. I'm up to an inch
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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