i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
At some point, you're going to have to talk to a tree and do what it says
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
