oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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