The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
there comes a time in a mans life when you ask yourself, will i fake love for blowjobs? and the answer is always yes
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
The question of "Will I eat a piece of curried chicken off the floor?" has been answered tonight.
Well, my mom brought up me being vague about losing my license and she gave me the intervention look. so i left before they could bring out their heartfelt letters...
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
You need to call dibs on the blond with the tits. It's your birthday.
Haha hell yea
Because if someone gets to see those.. It should be you. It's like God telling you Happy Birthday.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
Randomize
