K I think ***** turned off her phone. Guess I can't make her feel any more miserable tonight so I'm goin to sleep
It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
I finally got laid.. you said it wouldn't happen.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
