So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
He told me that if he broke my bed my bed durring sex he would take me to ikea, but only on Monday because it's all you can eat meatballs. I think I'm in love.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
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