at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
If you don't get head tonight I will castrate you
Seriously. Castrate.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
In light of this week's heat-wave, we are having a house vote tonight on the temporary suspension of the "no smoking indoors" clause. Please bring your voting cards to the living room at 6:30pm
Point of Clarification: by "voting card" we mean a full beer and/or shots
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
