This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
We just won 1800 at the casino and are going to the strip club. Who gives a fuck if it's 5pm
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
