Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Randomize