dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Don't get into any trouble on your trip
The only foreseeable trouble would be pregnancy, but I gotta be sterile otherwise I'm beating some pretty fucking incredible odds
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I deleted your number after I found out you gave my brother head for drugs.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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