i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
In other news there's 12 shirtless Korean dudes all trying to jump on a tiny little trampoline so that's entertaining
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