Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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