That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
Randomize
