so my bro's bff came over...we had an awkward "yeah we fucked and can fuck later, but let's just pretend it didn't happen in front of the family" hug.
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
I think we need to stop being best friends, its not good for our vaginas.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
