meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Don't ask me how or why, but I'm drunk with German diplomats. Come over. Now
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Randomize
