Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
I'm both gender and math confused
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