Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
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