So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
This is my punishment for trynna have a festive time with a stranger. I always forget you can't get weird with one night stands
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
