i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
my new years resolutions dont apply when im drunk
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
