im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
It gave me the St Patrick's Day nickname Slutty McShitfaced. I've never felt so understood.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Randomize
