We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
i asked him to tell me something nice and he said "your vagina is really tight."
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
And you seriously thought you could just walk in naked with a bow tied around your penis?
It seemed like a good idea at the time...
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
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